Healing The Brokenhearted
Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Old Wounds
It will come as no surprise that there is a dark psychology in men and women who routinely engage in abusive behaviors towards their partners, spouses or children. At some point in their lives, they were likely wounded significantly and never recovered, then instead of getting help, they lash out in anger toward those closest to them. Sometimes these wounds begin in childhood. I am beginning to realize that there’s also a significant shift that happens in the psychology of those have been routinely abused. You may have heard the phrase ‘I’m tired of being their punching bag’. Although in contrast to most punching bags that maintain their form after years of being struck, the emotional, verbal, physical and financial abuse leaves significant changes in those who’ve been mistreated. Even though many may say they’re fine, and/or that it doesn’t matter, these kinds of abuses don’t leave anyone unaffected.
“Childhood maltreatment is a stressor that can lead to the development of behavior problems and affect brain structure and function. Neuropsychological studies suggest an association between child abuse and deficits in IQ, memory, working memory, attention, response inhibition and emotional discrimination. “Structural neuroimaging studies provide evidence for deficits in brain volume, gray and white matter of several regions, prominently the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex (which controls executive functions such as working memory, cognitive flexibility, planning, inhibition, and abstract reasoning); the ventromedial prefrontal cortex (which helps us process risk and fear, as it is critical in the regulation of amygdala activity in humans. It also plays a role in the inhibition of emotional responses, and in the process of decision-making and self-control. But also the hippocampus (which plays important roles in the consolidation of information from short-term memory to long-term memory), amygdala (which regulates emotions, such as fear and aggression. The amygdala is also involved in tying emotional meaning to our memories. reward processing, and decision-making), and corpus callosum.” (which facilitates interhemispheric communication for emotion, and higher cognitive abilities, among other processes)
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnhum.2012.00052/full
Rewiring The Brain
“Survivors of abuse can be prone to extreme ‘flight or fight’ responses.
Our brains are mysterious and complex organs, made up of billions of neurons. They control virtually everything we do, from breathing to blinking. And, our brains are ever-changing. Each new memory or thought creates a new connection in the brain, in essence, rewiring it”. Here’s the article I’ve quoted, if you’d like to read more:
https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/health/how-trauma-rewires-the-brain
Dr. Bessel VanDerKolk (a psychiatrist, author, researcher and educator) states, “Neuroscience research has shown that the only way you can change your survival orientation in your brain is by accessing your interoceptive world—the part of your brain that allows you to observe yourself. In my book, I make quite a big deal of it. Accessing the interoceptive world is not a strong skill in the Western traditions. Getting to know yourself and to feel yourself—being still—is not part of the dominant culture of Western civilization. Basically, our culture suggests if you feel bad, simply take a swig of something or take a pill to make whatever symptom go away. There is very little understanding here in the West that you can actually change your own physiology.” A little later on in the article he adds, “Most of my serious colleagues are into meditation or yoga because they have come to realize that that’s the only way you can consciously change your brain. You have to go inside and be still by yourself. Our culture is constantly forcing people to be distracted by stuff in order for them not to feel themselves. But the only way you can be yourself is to know yourself. When you’re traumatized, it becomes even more difficult to know yourself because trauma is actually NOT the story of what happened a long time ago; trauma is residue that’s living inside of you now; trauma lives inside of you in horrible sensations, panic reactions, uptightness, explosions, and impulses. Because trauma lives inside of you, getting to know yourself can be the scariest thing to do. It takes an enormous amount of courage to visit and befriend yourself and to feel what that uptightness is about. Having the courage to let yourself relax and to notice the flow of your body is central for recovery.” Here’s the link to the rest of the article:
Seek Help
I don’t know your story, but I know that you have value in the sight of God, and if you are being emotionally, physically psychologically, or financially abused, that is not what God would want for you. Please seek help, and tell someone what’s been happening to you, because going through it alone is excruciating.
Deuteronomy 31:6
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”